happy hour

Drawing Notes

A light hearted commentary on engineering drawings

In the digital world, engineering drawings are more important than ever. They address the details of what is being built, along with some requirements for how it should be built, and by whom.  Sadly, most engineering drawings neglect some critical details about vendors. Below is a light-hearted look at some possible drawing notes to address this.

 

VENDOR TO PROVIDE CLIENT WITH INFORMATION ON THEIR CAPABILITIES, ALONG WITH SOME ASSURANCES THAT THEY “CAN DO THE JOB.”

  1.  VENDOR ACKNOWLEDGES THEY HAVE THE SKILL, EXPERTISE, AND PERSONNEL TO PROVIDE PARTS THAT MEET SPECIFICATIONS.
  2.  VENDOR ACKNOWLEDGES THEY HAVE REVIEWED ALL DRAWINGS FOR ACCURACY.
  3.  VENDOR AGREES TO TRY THEIR BEST TO MEET SPECIFICATIONS (WINK, WINK, NUDGE, NUDGE).
  4.  ALL REFERENCES TO INTERNATIONAL STANDARDS (ANSI, ISO, I SAID, HE SAID, SHE SAID, ETC. ) SHOULD BE TAKEN WITH A GRAIN OF SALT.
  5.  VENDOR CONFIRMS THE EXISTENCE OF A QUALITY PROCEDURE.
  6.  UPON REQUEST, VENDOR AGRESS TO PROVIDE VERIFICATION THAT THE WORD “QUALITY” IS SPELLED PROPERLY ON ALL INTERNAL DOCUMENTS.
  7.  VENDOR AGREES TO RESPOND TO ALL CLIENT INQUIRIES IN A TIMELY MANNER.
  8.  VENDOR SHALL DETERMINE WHAT IS – AND IS NOT – A TIMELY RESPONSE.

VENDOR TO MEET BARE ASS MINIMUM STANDARDS FOR DOING BUSINESS.

  1.  ALL STUFF DISPLAYED ON THE VENDOR WEB PAGE AND/OR COMPANY LOBBY ARE STRICTLY FOR SHOW AND TELL. ITEMS MAY – OR MAY NOT – REPRESENT ACTUAL WORK PERFORMED. CLIENT AGREES THEY LOOK NICE.
  2.  ALL CERTIFICATIONS, PLAQUES, AND/OR AWARDS REFERENCED HAVE SOME SEMBLANCE OF REALITY. THEY MAY – OR MAY NOT – REPRESENT ACTUAL WORK PERFORMED. CLIENT AGREES THEY LOOK NICE.
  3.  VENDOR ADVISES THEIR “QUOTE” IS MERELY A STAB IN THE DARK AT THE ACTUAL COSTS INVOLVED, AND MAY NOT HAVE A BASIS IN REALITY.
  4.  VENDOR TO PROVIDE AN UPDATED “QUOTE” FOR ALL ACTIVITY DETERMINED TO BE “OUT OF SCOPE” OR REQUIRING “ADDITIONAL EFFORT.”
  5.  VENDOR RESERVES THE RIGHT TO RENEGOTIATE ALL TERMS, INCLUDING PRICING, DELIVERY, AND QUALITY STANDARDS.
  6.  VENDOR ADVISES THEY ARE WORKING HARD TO STAY IN BUSINESS. VENDOR REQUESTS THAT CLIENT CUT THEM SOME SLACK.
  7.  IN THE EVENT VENDOR IS UNABLE TO DELIVER PARTS AND/OR ASSEMBLIES THAT MEET SPECIFICATIONS, CLIENT SHALL KINDLY PISS OFF.

VENDOR AGREES TO PROVIDE CLEAR AND EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION. THE FOLLOWING TERMS SHALL APPLY, UNLESS OTHERWISE SPECIFIED.

  1.  YES MEANS YES (THIS INCLUDES WORDS AND TERMS SUCH AS UH-HUH, YEAH, WAY, WADDUP, BABY, AND ANY PHRASE WITH THE WORD GO).
  2.  NO MEANS NO (THIS INCLUDES WORDS AND TERMS SUCH AS DOH, UH-UH, NO WAY, BEAT IT, GET OUTA HERE, OR ANY PHRASE INVOLVING PROFANITY).
  3.  MAYBE MEANS MAYBE (THIS INCLUDES WORDS AND TERMS SUCH AS WHATEVER, I DUNNO, GO FIGURE, HMMM, LET ME THINK ABOUT IT, PERHAPS NEXT TIME).
  4.  DOUBLE NEGATIVES ARE POSITIVE (E.G. THE PHRASE “CAN’T NOT” MEANS CAN).
  5.  DOUBLE POSITIVES ARE NEGATIVE (E.G. THE PHRASE “YEAH-YEAH” MEANS NO).
  6.  TRIPLES OF ANY KIND, EITHER NEGATIVE (SUCH AS NO-NO-NO) OR POSITIVE (SUCH AS YEAH-YEAH-YEAH) MEAN THAT IS TIME TO PARTY.

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